


what's left of us

by Pericardiaca



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Civil War Fix-It, Emotions, Feelings, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Infinity War, Steve Rogers Feels, Stony - Freeform, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, basically just mantis touching the boys and then their Feelings, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 06:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pericardiaca/pseuds/Pericardiaca
Summary: Mantis touches Tony and Steve and desperatly tries to process their emotions. It's a literal emotional rollercoaster ride; there's just the question if it can end on a high for Tony and Steve...





	what's left of us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> the wonderful [@avengertonys](http://avengertonys.tumblr.com) made a post on tumblr saying how Mantis would react to touching the Avengers,,, and my brain immediately wandered to steeb and tony. welp
> 
> if u wanna u can hmu on [tumblr](http://walkyriez.tumblr.com) and kudos & comments feed my soul <3

Mantis stumbled over a piece of debris, the silence of the now almost empty battle field like cotton on her ears. She had tried so hard not to look down at the bodies that she wasn’t able to hold her balance and fell. Only the fact that she got caught by Tony who had been walking behind her saved her from ending up in the mud - but looking back, that might have been more pleasant of an option. 

“Oh!”, Mantis made, a choked sound ripped out of her throat and she turned her big, dark eyes onto the man who had caught her. “Mister Stark”, she whispered, blinking rapidly before she closed her eyes against the intensity of the feeling she picked up from Tony where he was touching her. 

Guilt, anger, sadness, shame, self-hatred, disgust. Agitation and so much self-loathing that Mantis’ vision went blurry with tears. The emotions seemed to whirl together and multiply with every passing second, frustration, anger and trepidation mixing into it; making him seem alone and helpless in his sadness and dread. But everything was tinted with a layer of hope, bittersweet and misfitting and somehow making everything worse. She took in a deep breath, drawing her hand back so forcefully that she stumbled backwards but she’d rather sit in the mud all day than feel that any longer. Her heart beat was booming in her head, her breathing coming in short gasps and the feeling of unease didn’t fully leave her body even when she didn’t touch Tony anymore. 

“Mantis!”, he exclaimed, his face twisted with worry. “Are you alright?” 

“The question should be if you’re alright”, she replied, her voice breaking over the words. “I mean, I know you’re not, that’s obvious, obviously!” Her antennae trembled and when Tony reached for her she immediately moved backwards. “Please don’t touch me again”, she whispered. Mantis couldn’t look Tony in the eye, she couldn’t comprehend how he was surviving under the burden he was carrying around. 

Suddenly a thumping sound disrupted the silence from where Tony was awkwardly looking at her. 

“Mister Stark”, Steve said from where he had just landed in the dirt in a superhero landing. His face wasn’t giving anything away and when Tony gave back a choked “Captain”, Mantis tried her best to regain her composure. 

Her natural curiosity came through and even though it still felt like she couldn’t breathe properly, like the weight of the entire universe was lasting on her chest - or rather a shadow of the one that was lasting on Tony’s - she still could almost feel the tension in the air. When her gaze fell upon Tony’s trembling hands she thought how badly he needed a hug right now.

“I could just need some steadiness”, she said instead of wording her thoughts and smiled at the Captain. She reached for his hand; half a gesture for balance on the uneven battlefield that she still refused to look down onto, half a plea. “May I?” 

The smile was almost invisible under Steve’s beard and when he raised his hand for her Mantis could visibly see Tony recoiling. She didn’t think about it though, she hoped for a glimmer of positivity from Steve after her core-shaking experience with Tony’s emotions. The smile slipped off her face, though, when she came in contact with Steve’s skin. For a moment she wondered how much emotional pain a single person could endure before she passed out.

 

#

 

When she opened her eyes again, several worried faces looked down at her. She recognised the voices of Peter and Gamora, but when she scanned the little crowd she was only looking for two people.

Steve looked extremely uncomfortable, standing as far away from Tony as physically possible considering they were both crouching down next to her. “You need to tell him”, she rasped out insistently, looking at Steve. “You really need to tell him before you get even worse. Or he. Before he… Just telll him.”

“Tell what”, Tony asked immediately, obviously not content with not understanding the situation. 

“He could use it”, she added and then raised her hand again to pat Tony’s cheek. Tony tried to jerk away but Mantis had already gotten all the information she needed. There was something else under all that sadness and even though she knew that the sadness wouldn’t go away just like that - Tony desperately needed help. Controlling the maelstrom of emotions wouldn’t be easy but at least Tony’s feelings swirled around. Steve’s had been almost static, fixed on one point in their entire intensity. That had been what made her pass out, it was too much all at once.

Steve furrowed his brows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he said. “You should rest.”

Mantis took Steve’s hand and reached for Tony’s. “Can’t, not until I know that you’re not getting worse. You’re like a feedback loop”, she added, her entire body trembling under the intensity of the emotions she picked up from their hands. She placed them on top of each other and Tony immediately tried to pull his hand away but she didn’t let him. “One negative emotion and you’re falling into a void”, she whispered. “How do you want to get out of it, all alone?”

Tony cleared his throat and tried again to jank his hand free, but Steve’s gaze made him stop. “Are you talking about Cap here? Because there’s nothing new about the fact that I’m messed up.” He said it almost playfully, as if it weren’t the saddest thing Mantis had ever felt.

“Tell him”, she said again, looking up into Steve’s eyes before she scrambled out from where she was laying and limped over to Gamora. 

Tony looked at Steve’s and his still connected hands. “Uhm.”

“I’m sorry”, Steve blurted suddenly. He looked like he was about to cry and Tony waited for his anger to bubble up; for him to say one of the responses he had thought of when he had imagined this conversation over and over in his head.   
“I never wanted to hurt you”, Steve whispered, tightening his hold on Tony’s hand. 

“You should have thought of that sooner”, Tony finally said. His voice sounded hoarse and he couldn’t look Steve in the eyes anymore. 

“I know.” Steve suddenly raised his second hand, gripping Tony’s between them and pulling them to the spot on his chest where Tony could feel his heart beating. “There’s nothing I can say to make up for what happened. All of it. I just want you to know that I’m here.” 

A tiny hiccup escaped Tony and he reminded himself to breathe. “I can see that you’re here.” Instead of his usual snark there was longing in his words.

“I won’t leave again”, Steve promised, his voice thick with emotion, while Tony was still trying to keep his breathing even. “What if I don’t want you to stay?”

“Then I’ll go. I just… I know I can’t make you happy, but I don’t want to make you unhappy anymore.” Steve looked at Tony with earnest eyes and for the shortest moment Tony was reminded of the seconds after the Chitauri battle when Steve had been there after he woke up. 

Tony decided to throw all caution into the wind. Mantis was right, in a way, he couldn’t get much worse. More pain would settle into his soul so easy like a day full of laughter for other people. “Hug me, that would make me happy.” 

“What?” Steve didn’t pull his hand back, he didn’t even look confused. “Say that again.” 

“Hug me.” 

Tony’s voice was only a rough whisper and he could feel a single tear running over his face. For an endless second Steve continued to stare at him and then - then there was warmth all around him. Tony buried his face in Steve’s neck, inhaling his scent and ignoring the stench of blood and dirt on him, just focusing on having him in his arms.

“I hate you so much”, Tony said, registering that he was crying and not caring at this point. Steve didn’t answer, he just pressed his lips to Tony’s like he needed the kiss to survive. 

 

A few meters next to them Mantis breathed out. “I’ve never felt so many repressed feeling before”, she said, her eyes big and sad. “Tony may have been disappointed by the world more often than anyone else, but that might be the only thing he never placed his trust in.” She pointed at the kissing couple. “Steve’s love.”~


End file.
